I am feeling much better thanks to a few changes I am making to make myself better. First off... I am the queen of clutter. We have a small house yes but we need to make do with what we have and make it a better place to live in why we are here. We have so much clutter I get in a panic and don't know where to start.
Two weeks ago today I cleaned the bathroom and laundry room. Both of which are still clean. That has never happens before. I've cleaned them yes but the clutter and mess always returns by weeks end... not this time!
The cat now named Butters... I have kept his litter cleaned up very well (he's messy).
Today I cleaned the livingroom. Now it's not spotless by any means but it does look good. I'm not done but it's an awesome start.
I know these things being cleaned are going to make my hubby happy so he'll be in a better mood and not so grouchy and then it will trickle down to all of us!
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
I'm Not Ready For This
I haven't been happy lately, my anxiety is getting to me and I'm starting to feel depressed lately too. I'm not the happiest with my job or my family right now for various reason. It's all stuff I'll get over but normally I get over stuff way faster then this. It just hurts more this time. :(
I'm not ready for fall and winter... I absolutely HATE this time of year. My SAD is already starting to act up (seasonal affective disorder) which is acting up early this year. I'm sure that's part of my problem but I haven't had any good news lately to make me happy.
First... medical bills... collections calling my parents for money we owe them, seriously??? They call my parents??? I have no idea how the hell they got their phone number. I will be calling them tomorrow and bitching them out for that. Bills in general... we can never get ahead. It would be nice to run into a bunch of money right now and pay some things off.
Second... I hate this house, it's to small and it sucks. I hate living here, I hate it more and more each day. We have the oportunity to rent my in-law's house which would be awesome but we'd have to get rid of this house. If anyone knows the market... yeah... that's not going to happen. We are stuck.
Third... We just got a cat. Which I've been wanting for a long time. He's a great cat. He's only been with us for three days and he's already fit in but... I'm already 2nd guessing the decision to get him and may take him back. Why? Because Paul complains about the cat hair so much, that's all he's done since we got him. The cost of buying food and litter when money is already tight, the adoption fee (which will get refunded if I take him back because he's not working out), and the fact that even though he's a great cat, loves to be petted and scratched he's been hiding under the bed most of the time and not out being a part of the family. It's upsetting me so much it's causing me panic attacks just thinking about it. I don't want to take him back but I am now thinking it'll be better for him.
Fourth... and the worst... David has to have another heart surgery. To what extent we don't know yet. He had a heart cath on October 5th we will know more details after that.
So yea, my life has been nothing but depressing lately. I'm going to have a talk with the doctor about it tomorrow. I'm already on meds for my anxiety. I hate feeling like this.
I'm not ready for fall and winter... I absolutely HATE this time of year. My SAD is already starting to act up (seasonal affective disorder) which is acting up early this year. I'm sure that's part of my problem but I haven't had any good news lately to make me happy.
First... medical bills... collections calling my parents for money we owe them, seriously??? They call my parents??? I have no idea how the hell they got their phone number. I will be calling them tomorrow and bitching them out for that. Bills in general... we can never get ahead. It would be nice to run into a bunch of money right now and pay some things off.
Second... I hate this house, it's to small and it sucks. I hate living here, I hate it more and more each day. We have the oportunity to rent my in-law's house which would be awesome but we'd have to get rid of this house. If anyone knows the market... yeah... that's not going to happen. We are stuck.
Third... We just got a cat. Which I've been wanting for a long time. He's a great cat. He's only been with us for three days and he's already fit in but... I'm already 2nd guessing the decision to get him and may take him back. Why? Because Paul complains about the cat hair so much, that's all he's done since we got him. The cost of buying food and litter when money is already tight, the adoption fee (which will get refunded if I take him back because he's not working out), and the fact that even though he's a great cat, loves to be petted and scratched he's been hiding under the bed most of the time and not out being a part of the family. It's upsetting me so much it's causing me panic attacks just thinking about it. I don't want to take him back but I am now thinking it'll be better for him.
Fourth... and the worst... David has to have another heart surgery. To what extent we don't know yet. He had a heart cath on October 5th we will know more details after that.
So yea, my life has been nothing but depressing lately. I'm going to have a talk with the doctor about it tomorrow. I'm already on meds for my anxiety. I hate feeling like this.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Getting Ready!
I cannot believe my babies will be starting Kindergarten in less than two weeks.
We had a new parent meeting at the school today. I basically knew everything they told us but the only time Paul had been to the school was for Kindergarten round up and he didn’t know any of the other details. Then we got a tour of the school. I had been on this tour before when I went to the open house last spring. But most of the teachers were there getting their rooms ready. Matthew’s teacher was not but David’s was! I was SUPER excited about that. I’m really super glad we got to chat with her when she wasn’t busy. Since we are way more worried about David then Matthew we had a chance to talk to her about David’s issues so she had an idea of what was going on with him. Back to school night is on the 31st but there will be tons more kids there and parents so we would have less chance of having that one on one conversation with her. Then as we were leaving we chatted with the music teacher (that was right up Paul’s alley) and then had a good chat with the principal on the way out too. I am really excited to see what this school year brings us.
The boys NEED to get back to school. They have been getting naughtier and naughtier by the day, they take FOREVER to fall asleep at night and now I know why parent’s always said “Ugh, I cannot wait for school to start”. My kids are BORED. They need something to do and staying home all day all summer long is not their idea of a good time. I feel really bad we don’t have the extra money where we could have put them in day care or something a couple days a week. I feel bad. We will have to plan better for next summer to get them into more activities and such.
But none the less, I am excited for the new school year. Excited to see what the year will bring for my boys. See how much more Matthew can learn (smart little shit) and how much David will learn this year.
Kindergarten… Ready or not here we come!
We had a new parent meeting at the school today. I basically knew everything they told us but the only time Paul had been to the school was for Kindergarten round up and he didn’t know any of the other details. Then we got a tour of the school. I had been on this tour before when I went to the open house last spring. But most of the teachers were there getting their rooms ready. Matthew’s teacher was not but David’s was! I was SUPER excited about that. I’m really super glad we got to chat with her when she wasn’t busy. Since we are way more worried about David then Matthew we had a chance to talk to her about David’s issues so she had an idea of what was going on with him. Back to school night is on the 31st but there will be tons more kids there and parents so we would have less chance of having that one on one conversation with her. Then as we were leaving we chatted with the music teacher (that was right up Paul’s alley) and then had a good chat with the principal on the way out too. I am really excited to see what this school year brings us.
The boys NEED to get back to school. They have been getting naughtier and naughtier by the day, they take FOREVER to fall asleep at night and now I know why parent’s always said “Ugh, I cannot wait for school to start”. My kids are BORED. They need something to do and staying home all day all summer long is not their idea of a good time. I feel really bad we don’t have the extra money where we could have put them in day care or something a couple days a week. I feel bad. We will have to plan better for next summer to get them into more activities and such.
But none the less, I am excited for the new school year. Excited to see what the year will bring for my boys. See how much more Matthew can learn (smart little shit) and how much David will learn this year.
Kindergarten… Ready or not here we come!
Monday, August 8, 2011
Milestones...
A couple milestones have happened in the last week. One being on August 2nd my babies turned 5. Yes, five... my babies are not babies anymore but kids, kindergartners... not toddlers and preschoolers. When did this happen? I don't know if I am ready for this. Second, five years ago yesterday 8/7 was the anniversary of David's first open heart surgery. Five years ago right now we were in Mott's Children's Hospital in Ann Arbor, MI. This time of night (9:50 pm) we were probably in the Ronald McDonald house trying to get some sleep with Matthew but worrying about David who was in the PICU. Now here we are five years later, two open heart surgeries, one heart cath, some pneumonia and other minor issues and we have two wonderfully healthy five year old boys!
The unjoyful part of having five year olds has hit. They are MOUTHY and have taken to yelling at us when they don't like what we've told them to do. It is getting pretty bad and is VERY ANNOYING. Tonight David didn't want to go to bed, he stood in front of me and yelled at me, I just told him I wasn't going to kiss that nasty mouth good night tonight, not for talking to me like that. But yet they played together very good tonight, didn't fight over anything. We even let them stay up an hour later and got treated like that by both of them.
But back to the good stuff...
The unjoyful part of having five year olds has hit. They are MOUTHY and have taken to yelling at us when they don't like what we've told them to do. It is getting pretty bad and is VERY ANNOYING. Tonight David didn't want to go to bed, he stood in front of me and yelled at me, I just told him I wasn't going to kiss that nasty mouth good night tonight, not for talking to me like that. But yet they played together very good tonight, didn't fight over anything. We even let them stay up an hour later and got treated like that by both of them.
But back to the good stuff...
Here are a few pictures!
And a few from their birthday party!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Sitting at my desk...
Sitting at my desk at work I overhear a lot of things. Just heard from one particular loud mouth just said to no one in particular “32 min left, hey it looks like the sun might wanna come out”. No one responded to her, no one spoke before her. Nothing. One co-worker that sits two cubicles behind me “E” sometimes has the funniest conversations on the phone. I only hear what she is saying and sometimes wonder what the heck the person on the other side is saying. Some of the one sided conversations I hear are the best.
I have a radio at my desk that I usually have on but sometimes the noise is just to much and I turn it off and just listen to the sounds of the office. If you’ve got your listening ears on you can hear the funniest shit. But this job is so elementary school. Another bothersome co-worker “S” has become the biggest tattle tale there is. I was standing at “E’s” desk talking about facebook. Yes I realize this is not really a work place topic but you’ve got to have some moral between your workers right? Anyways, she was complaining about the new facebook chat thing. It sucks, really… it does. But I was telling her if you download the latest version of yahoo messenger you can link it with your facebook and have all your friends on your messenger, if they are online they show up and you can chat with them right through the messenger. This conversation took two maybe three minutes. “S” cleared her throat real loud and went into the supervisor’s office to bitch. Seriously??? Are you a 50ish year old woman that childish? We were “interrupting and bothering her”. Kiss my big white ass you dumb bitch. So “E” being who she is stuck up for herself. That must be where I have learned that from. “E” doesn’t let anyone get away with stuff. So needless to say she and I were really irritated the rest of the day.
I just don’t have patience for stupidity… not at all. This particular person fits into that stupidity bracket. Just some of the things she says, does, or asks make you shake your head and wonder how these people are still alive.
I have a radio at my desk that I usually have on but sometimes the noise is just to much and I turn it off and just listen to the sounds of the office. If you’ve got your listening ears on you can hear the funniest shit. But this job is so elementary school. Another bothersome co-worker “S” has become the biggest tattle tale there is. I was standing at “E’s” desk talking about facebook. Yes I realize this is not really a work place topic but you’ve got to have some moral between your workers right? Anyways, she was complaining about the new facebook chat thing. It sucks, really… it does. But I was telling her if you download the latest version of yahoo messenger you can link it with your facebook and have all your friends on your messenger, if they are online they show up and you can chat with them right through the messenger. This conversation took two maybe three minutes. “S” cleared her throat real loud and went into the supervisor’s office to bitch. Seriously??? Are you a 50ish year old woman that childish? We were “interrupting and bothering her”. Kiss my big white ass you dumb bitch. So “E” being who she is stuck up for herself. That must be where I have learned that from. “E” doesn’t let anyone get away with stuff. So needless to say she and I were really irritated the rest of the day.
I just don’t have patience for stupidity… not at all. This particular person fits into that stupidity bracket. Just some of the things she says, does, or asks make you shake your head and wonder how these people are still alive.
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