The Day I Became a Heart Mother
One day my world came crashing down, I'll never be the same.
They told me that my child was sick.
I thought, "am I to blame"?
I don't think I can handle this.I am really not that strong.
It seemed my heart was breaking.
I have loved him for so long.
I will not give up on this child.
I will listen to your advice.
I will give my child any chance.
No matter what the price.
I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.
I'll even use that feeding tube.
My child must survive!
Will he need a lot of therapy?
Will he gain the needed weight?
Please God, help me do this.
I will accept our fate.
When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.
How many parents would love that sound.
Tomorrow I will be kinder.
As another Angel earns his wings, I run to my child's bed.
I watch him sleep for quite a while.
I bend down and kiss his head.
I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.
I look to You wondering why?
Oh Lord, I just can't know your ways....no matter how I try.
And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.
My mind says savor each moment he's here,but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!
From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed.
From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.
From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.
With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.
For all who see that faded line.
I look to them and smile.
You see my child is loved so much.
I would face ANY trial.
That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).
God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).
A heart mom is always a heart mom.
Now wise beyond her years.
For those who have angels in heaven,
Our hearts share in all of your tears.
Every day I will try and remember,
I was chosen for him (and no other).
I will always embrace that beautiful day.......
When I became a "Heart Mother".
- Author Unknown
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Happy Days
The boys are growing like WEEDS. It's amazing to watch them grow. Their little voices are just blasting thru the house. Real words are joining us. Matthew has lots and lots of favorites, he is facinated by the moon, and bus's. They both get super excited when we go by the ball park downtown and start yelling "LUGNUTS" which comes out as 'nugnuts'. It's so cute. David puts his finger to his chin and goes 'hmmm, I don't know'. Can we say melt Mommy's heart. They call each other babies. Matthew will say "babies" David is answer with "what". And now David calls Matthew Babies too. I guess they don't like the names we gave them? Sorry little men you are stuck with them... at least until you turn 18 and can go change it yourself.
David eats like a PIG. Where he is putting it I don't know because he's skinny as ever. The boys are only in the 10-20th percentile for weight but in the 90th for height. The doctors said they are long an lean. Yes Mam, so were we when we were little. Not so much now but when I was young I was long and lean. No potty training yet. Not quite ready yet. Matthew is starting to show some signs but not enough. I did set them on it once just to see what they would do and at least they are not scared of it so that's great. We don't have a little potty chair because we don't have room for one. So we have a little seat that sits on the big potty and that is what they are going to learn on. We are going to start working on it full force after Christmas.
As for Developement of my two little goofballs. David is finally catching up. The braces (we call them steps) are working WONDERFULLY. We are tring to get childrens special health insurance to help pay for them but we just got denied so I'm trying to get more info sent to them so they will approve it. Our copay for the braces is $700 and we cannot afford that. He'll need new ones at least every year as he grows. But he's finally catching up.
So all in all life is great around here. Not looking forward to winter at all but then comes spring. I'm hoping David does not get penumonia this winter. He had it three times last year. All in the spring. One time put us in the hospital for three days. NOT FUN. My dad gave me a stehascope so I can listen to his heart and lungs closer on my own. I will be taking that to his next cardio appointment so she can tell me what to listen to and kinda explain what his murmer sounds like. I can tell a difference when I listen to his heart and Matthew's.
Well happy fall all!
David eats like a PIG. Where he is putting it I don't know because he's skinny as ever. The boys are only in the 10-20th percentile for weight but in the 90th for height. The doctors said they are long an lean. Yes Mam, so were we when we were little. Not so much now but when I was young I was long and lean. No potty training yet. Not quite ready yet. Matthew is starting to show some signs but not enough. I did set them on it once just to see what they would do and at least they are not scared of it so that's great. We don't have a little potty chair because we don't have room for one. So we have a little seat that sits on the big potty and that is what they are going to learn on. We are going to start working on it full force after Christmas.
As for Developement of my two little goofballs. David is finally catching up. The braces (we call them steps) are working WONDERFULLY. We are tring to get childrens special health insurance to help pay for them but we just got denied so I'm trying to get more info sent to them so they will approve it. Our copay for the braces is $700 and we cannot afford that. He'll need new ones at least every year as he grows. But he's finally catching up.
So all in all life is great around here. Not looking forward to winter at all but then comes spring. I'm hoping David does not get penumonia this winter. He had it three times last year. All in the spring. One time put us in the hospital for three days. NOT FUN. My dad gave me a stehascope so I can listen to his heart and lungs closer on my own. I will be taking that to his next cardio appointment so she can tell me what to listen to and kinda explain what his murmer sounds like. I can tell a difference when I listen to his heart and Matthew's.
Well happy fall all!
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