Paul had his concert with the Lansing Concert Band last night. The Lakewood Choral Society sang too. Paul's Aunt Bev sings in that. But my mind was just racing as I sat there listen listening to the beautiful music both groups produced. I just CANNOT shut my mind off.
This morning didn't help much as I was checking my facebook posts. The UofM hospital and Mott Children's hospital pages both had pictures of the first ICU patient being moved from the old hospital to the new shortly after 7 this morning. I cried real tears as I looked at the pictures.
Why???
Many reasons why.
1. I am kinda excited about David's surgery because I am excited to see and be in the new hospital. Surgery means they will fix my baby.
2. What if something goes wrong and David doesn't make it? What if this is our last Christmas with him? What am I going to do without him?
This cannot be happening to me. I cannot think these bad thoughts. As I type this he's sitting on the floor in front of me with a HUGE pile of dinosaurs. That kid LOVES dinosaurs. He's so healthy, how could anything bad happen?
The good thing with a mind that doesn't shut off is there is always something else to think about and get my mind off the current bad thought. We will move on and enjoy Christmas. Take David to his surgery... three days after Christmas, and pray for the best.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
Surgery Delay
Everything got messed up becasue there were no open beds in the ICU. We got up Wednesday morning, I had taken a shower and was getting Matthew dress so we could go have breakfast. David was drinking some water. My cell phone rang... surgery canceled, no ICU beds.
Great... what the hell do we do now? Wasted a whole freakin day of vacation time for NOTHING. I am still pissed. Surgery is now December 28th. At least we will be in the new Mott for this one and chances of them delaying it again are slim, no surgery's the week of Christmas will give the kids in ICU more time to get better and out of there.
Great... what the hell do we do now? Wasted a whole freakin day of vacation time for NOTHING. I am still pissed. Surgery is now December 28th. At least we will be in the new Mott for this one and chances of them delaying it again are slim, no surgery's the week of Christmas will give the kids in ICU more time to get better and out of there.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Hell Week is here :(
It's Sunday night... I am VERY nervous right now. I've got so much to do tomorrow.
-Go to work
-Pack my clothes
-Pack Paul's clothes
-Pack Matthew's clothes
-Pack whatever I think David is going to need.
-Try not to freak the hell out
Luckily, my parents are going to come over for a little bit tomorrow evening. Paul isn't going to be home so I am glad they are coming over.
I don't know what to do. What to expect, yeah I've been through this twice before but he was five days for the first one and 10 months for the second. He's now five... what do I do with a five year old in the hospital recovering from heart surgery?
I'm taking books, dinosaurs, stuff to color with and some cars. Hopefully that's enough... oh and video's.
Sigh...
-Go to work
-Pack my clothes
-Pack Paul's clothes
-Pack Matthew's clothes
-Pack whatever I think David is going to need.
-Try not to freak the hell out
Luckily, my parents are going to come over for a little bit tomorrow evening. Paul isn't going to be home so I am glad they are coming over.
I don't know what to do. What to expect, yeah I've been through this twice before but he was five days for the first one and 10 months for the second. He's now five... what do I do with a five year old in the hospital recovering from heart surgery?
I'm taking books, dinosaurs, stuff to color with and some cars. Hopefully that's enough... oh and video's.
Sigh...
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Two Weeks
I sit here thinking, two weeks from surgery date. Two weeks from right now he’ll be in the ICU recovering from open heart surgery. I am scared, terrified. I show no emotion about the matter currently. It still seems like a dream to me. Like it’s not really going to happen. Every phone call I make in prep for this date makes it seem more real. I’ve called the hospital reservation line and made reservations at the Red Roof Inn the night before surgery. I’ve called the Ronald McDonald house and put our name on the list.
I’ve called the school and had David put on the block list at school effective November 15th through the end of the month. This will allow me the freedom of NOT having to call him off school every day and I won’t get the phone call telling me my child wasn’t in school. I’ve also talked to his IEP people. They were going to re-evaluate him the week before Thanksgiving… well… now he’s having surgery the week before so I called them to get those dates moved up. I’ve even called Matthew off for the 16th so he can be there for the surgery.
I’ve called my orthodontist and moved my next appointment up a week. It was scheduled for the 14th but I’m going to be freaking the hell out that day and that will probably be the only day I work that week so it won’t give me a chance to make that time up. So it’s on the 9th instead.
Then the part that really has me stressed out…. We can NOT afford for me to miss work without pay. As of right now I have a total of two days and two hours. Since the week after surgery is Thanksgiving… IF David is still in the hospital then, I will go to work the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and then as long as I work that day and the Monday after I will get paid for the Thanksgiving holiday. So then I will only be missing one day and five hours of pay on that pay check. Hopefully he’ll be home from the hospital a week after surgery but we will have to wait and see. Knowing my luck I’ll be at work that Wednesday and then they will say he can go home that day.
I do NOT want to leave my baby in Ann Arbor without me, but what else am I going to do. If I don’t work Wednesday and Monday then I will miss a whole week worth of pay and we can NOT afford that.
Well enough of my sob story.
I’ve called the school and had David put on the block list at school effective November 15th through the end of the month. This will allow me the freedom of NOT having to call him off school every day and I won’t get the phone call telling me my child wasn’t in school. I’ve also talked to his IEP people. They were going to re-evaluate him the week before Thanksgiving… well… now he’s having surgery the week before so I called them to get those dates moved up. I’ve even called Matthew off for the 16th so he can be there for the surgery.
I’ve called my orthodontist and moved my next appointment up a week. It was scheduled for the 14th but I’m going to be freaking the hell out that day and that will probably be the only day I work that week so it won’t give me a chance to make that time up. So it’s on the 9th instead.
Then the part that really has me stressed out…. We can NOT afford for me to miss work without pay. As of right now I have a total of two days and two hours. Since the week after surgery is Thanksgiving… IF David is still in the hospital then, I will go to work the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and then as long as I work that day and the Monday after I will get paid for the Thanksgiving holiday. So then I will only be missing one day and five hours of pay on that pay check. Hopefully he’ll be home from the hospital a week after surgery but we will have to wait and see. Knowing my luck I’ll be at work that Wednesday and then they will say he can go home that day.
I do NOT want to leave my baby in Ann Arbor without me, but what else am I going to do. If I don’t work Wednesday and Monday then I will miss a whole week worth of pay and we can NOT afford that.
Well enough of my sob story.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Surgery date is...
November 16th.
Sooner then wanted but Dr. Bove makes his own schedule and you basically do it when he says which in the end is fine by me. Not really the best time of the month for us but we will deal. This date is also Grandma Barb's birthday. Again, not a date I would have chosen. But... his last surgery was June 12, 2007 when he was 10mo old, that day was also the 3rd wedding anniversary for Paul and I, and since it's been so long since he's had surgery, apparently it's good luck for his surgery's to be on an important date.
So we've got three weeks to make our arrangements. Do I call the Ronald McDonald house and put or name on the list? I'm going to call them tomorrow and ask, and call the hotel line and make reservations thru them for an area hotel for the night before so we'll get the discount.
Pre-op is the day before surgery.
I'm nervous, I feel like I am in a fog, like this really isn't happening, like it's a bad dream and I want to wake up.
Sooner then wanted but Dr. Bove makes his own schedule and you basically do it when he says which in the end is fine by me. Not really the best time of the month for us but we will deal. This date is also Grandma Barb's birthday. Again, not a date I would have chosen. But... his last surgery was June 12, 2007 when he was 10mo old, that day was also the 3rd wedding anniversary for Paul and I, and since it's been so long since he's had surgery, apparently it's good luck for his surgery's to be on an important date.
So we've got three weeks to make our arrangements. Do I call the Ronald McDonald house and put or name on the list? I'm going to call them tomorrow and ask, and call the hotel line and make reservations thru them for an area hotel for the night before so we'll get the discount.
Pre-op is the day before surgery.
I'm nervous, I feel like I am in a fog, like this really isn't happening, like it's a bad dream and I want to wake up.
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