Difficult

You think parenting is hard… try raising twin boys.

You think parenting is hard… try raising a boy with a CHD who has had FOUR open heart surgeries.

You think parenting is hard… try raising this same child with developmental delays.

You think parenting is hard… try telling this same child he has to repeat 1st grade while his twin get’s to go onto 2nd.

You think parenting is hard… try raising this same child with ADD. You don’t like medicating him because he FIGHTS TOOTH AND NAIL to NOT take it, because it’s not good for his heart and because it takes away his appetite, he’s small and skinny as it is and needs to add fat to his body. NOT eating isn’t a good option. But you HAVE to medicate him or he can’t pay attention in school and learn. So you don’t give this child his ‘listening meds’ on the weekend because it’s not worth the fight and you want him to eat. But then he’s so out of control, can’t focus, can’t listen that you can’t stand being around him most of the day.

It’s not his fault, he cannot help it. He has no control over it. It’s so frustrating!

How do we handle David? It sure the hell isn’t easy. We have to tell David to do something five or six times to do something, then maybe he’ll do it. He’s usually willing to do it, willing to help, likes to help out but getting his attention to do it, and keeping his attention while he’s doing it is a huge struggle. I HATE being mad at him. I HATE Paul being mad at him. I have way more patience then Paul does. He gets mad at him way faster than I do but when I’ve lost my patience it’s not pretty. I feel so bad for David because most of the time he has no clue what he’s done wrong. I feel bad for Paul, he gets mad so quickly, then I get mad at him for being mad at David, then Paul’s mad at me. It’s a vicious ugly cycle that I want to stop…

But I don’t know how.

I love my husband… I love my children… both of them.

Matthew isn’t perfect either. He has is issues but he’s a child… a boy… at times… most of the time a Paul Jr. Matthew get’s goofy which is normal for a boy but then get’s David going and because David can’t control himself… it’ get’s out of hand QUICKLY. Then we are mad at Matthew. I feel bad for Matthew because he can’t be a normal boy because David’s not normal.

I’m Mom… it’s not in my nature to be the ‘bad guy’ so Paul tends to be the bad guy most of the time. I hate that the boys think he’s the bad guy, he’s not really. Paul can be a lot of fun… gross… but fun! I’ve tried being the ‘bad guy’ a little more. I’ve even said to the boys “See Daddy isn’t the only bad guy now is he?”

What do we do?

I do love that David is a fighter… he’s made it through four open heart surgeries, struggling with ADD and developmental delays and he’s still so happy go lucky weather he is in his own world or in ours.

We are struggling with him. I finally realize how bad we are struggling. I don’t know where to go to get help. Can we afford help?

Is this a cry for help? I guess so.

Raising David is difficult… very difficult but I love him all the same and wouldn’t trade him for anything.

Well...

This is the usual... no news is good news post.  Nothing exciting has happened... Well I take that back.  How could I forget...

We went to the Indianapolis Children's Museum.

This was the night MSU was playing in Indianapolis.  We didn't go for the game.  Paul's parents were, we surprised Grandma Anne because she didn't know we were going to be there.  They went to the game, the boys and I went to the pool why Daddy watched basketball in the room.  Then when it was bedtime Matthew read to David.  I am AMAZED at how well Matthew reads. 

Then the next morning we were off to the museum.  Grandma Anne and Grandpa Denny went with us.  We were able to get into this museum for free because of David's make a wish trip.  Free or not we will defiantly be going back.

Then we met the dino.

Then we headed to the 'real' dinosaur exhibit.  David was in HEAVEN.  Once he was sure they were not going to move and were not going to scare him, this kid did NOT want to leave the dinosaur area.  We kept telling him there was way more to see and that we would come back at the end.

This is my I was right moment... why??? Because I was right, see the look of shock on my face?  That was because Paul admitted I was right.  So... he took a picture of my moment.

This was why I was right.... This water clock was what Paul and his Dad wanted to see.  So we get there at noon.  They were thinking the water in the big globes on the left was going to empty.  I kept telling them no it won't empty until 1:00.  The top glove is 12 the bottom is 1.  They didn't believe me.

Well... I WAS RIGHT!!!

So then we explored more...

And then us old people were getting tired... so...

We explored some more...

Then David was ready to go back to the dinosaurs... HE WAS DYING to go back.  Here is is practicing to be a paleontologist.  There was a real paleontologist there, they had a real t-rex thigh bone that David got to touch.  I didn't get a pic of that.

Then after hitting the gift shop and getting a couple really cool things we heard them say the museum was closing... SHOCK.... what the heck????  We had been there from the time it opened until it closed!!!

WOW

We saved a little energy to walk to the corner and get a picture with his Mommy dinosaur and her twins.

That was Saturday... We drove.... er... Paul drove home that night because the next morning was Easter...

I think the boys made out pretty good.

February

Not much going on these days.  Just finishing up CHD awareness week.  I posted a lot of things on facebook.  I feel strongly about it but I wish I could do more.  I'm not a stay at home mom so I just don't have the time.  I'd LOVE to be at home but we can't afford that and we want to get out of this small ass house into something bigger.

Anyways... Here are a few of my favorites!

We are in soon to be in talks with David's teacher.  Possibly holding him back this year.  We almost did last year but will probably do it this year.  He will however have a different teacher.  Neither Paul nor I really care much for the teacher he has this year.  She's been with the school for 12 years and that is a good thing but we just don't like her.  Don't think she's a good fit for David.  Seems more worried about medicating him then helping him.  Speaking of his ADD.  I bought a book "super parenting ADD" or something like that.  I actually gave it to Paul to read and we are learning some great stuff to help us help him.  I love my baby so much, I'm just so sad he has to go through all this.

Germs

Germs have hit our house.  Not the really icky ones.  So far we have avoided the stomach bug... THANK GOD!  And the Flu but both boys have had a cold, and then I got a scratchy throat which I thought was going to turn into laryngitis.  I was wrong.  My sinuses are KILLING me, well the left side right now.  I HATE being sick.  It sucks... I think a doctors appointment will be in my near future.  It'll probably turn into a nasty sinus infection for me.

Other then that things have been going good around here.  Just living life and that's it.

2012 Year in Review

Welcome 2013.

Last year was NUTS.  David had heart surgery twice.  His first one was
on my birthday January 17th.  Then again the end of May.  Here is to
hoping there are no surprised that lead us down that road again this
year.  His next echo isn’t until June.

In February David officially made is wish with Make-A-Wish to go to
Disney World!

In March David lost his bottom two front teeth.  The first to lose
teeth between the boys.  The first at something fun!

Nothing exciting happened in April really.  We did talk about holding
David back in Kindergarten but then the principle talked to us at the
end of the school year and we decided to go ahead and try first grade.

The end of May David had his 2nd surgery of the year, his 4th open
heart surgery all together.  This one surprised us.  We were not
expecting it and were almost sent to Ann Arbor via Ambulance.  He was
in surgery two weeks after that fateful echo.  This surgery was much
scarier for me because it was not expected like the other three.

June and July we did some summer camping.

In August the boys turned 6.  In August we started to get antsy
because we hadn’t heard anything about David’s wish trip.  We found
out that Dr. Gobles office dropped the ball and never returned the
paperwork.  So the coordinator sent it again and this time I called to
make sure they got it.

The boys also started first grade in August.  They started early
because this school year is now doing a ‘balanced calendar’ (aka year
round school).  The end of August we were finally contacted about
planning our trip.  The first full week of November was finally
decided.

September… noting super exciting happened… THANK GOD!!!

November… DISNEY!!!  I think November is when Matthew finally lost his
first tooth.  I can’t remember for sure.

December was the usual Christmas stuff, my anxiety started bothering
me and it got COLD.

So here is to hoping this stay exciting but every stays in good health
and there are no unwanted surprises!